How To Put The Fire Back In A Passionless Relationship

Tue, Apr 29, 2008

Some relationships are actually made of the same stuff that’s made of dreams - the couple is totally at ease with each other. They both complement the other and make them look and feel better as time goes by. These couples go all the way through life, and their feelings for each other only get stronger by the year.

Most other relationships, however, aren’t that lucky. Sometimes a single slipped word or misinterpreted action can drive a wedge between a man and woman that takes days, weeks, or months to remove. As the relationship goes on, things get more and more sour until it ultimately falls apart.

Now think about it - which of the two scenarios does your own relationship resemble more? Chances are it’s the second - otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article.

It’s easy to know a passionless relationship, especially if you’re in one yourself. Common symptoms of one include not feeling the same excitement you used to feel when you first started dating (or during the honeymoon), or when the man seems to stop talking with you, touching you, or initiating sex with you. It would seem that he wants to spend a lot more time on his own than with you.

It’s clear that your relationship is losing the passion that brought it together in the first place. As the attraction between you deteriorates, and your efforts to keep the relationship together keeps going for naught, then the relationship goes into a downward spiral that has no end in sight - except, of course, the inevitable breakup.

On the other hand, simply staying passive and quiet as the relationship sours won’t help either. It’ll only delay the things to come.

So what can you do to save a passionless relationship? The first step is actually easy - simply stop whatever it is you’re doing that isn’t working. If you’re constantly nagging him about how the relationship is going sour, for instance, then stop doing it if it doesn’t seem to elicit any genuine reaction from him.

Next, try to sit back and think about what you had in your relationship what swept him off his feet when you first started dating. It wasn’t about the words being said or the actions being done, was it? It was more than that. There was a “gut feeling” that told you that he was the one. It was so powerful that you could feel it in your toes.

Well, guess what? This is the very same thing that can rekindle the fire in your passionless relationship. If you can make him feel the same kind of attraction for you again, then you can put the relationship back on the right track again. You can do this by stop thinking about yourself - and how you think he should love you - and try to see things in his context.

In other words, men and women have different ways of showing and feeling love, and the “rules” you have about giving and receiving love isn’t the same as his. When you know how he likes to give love (and receive it in return), you can try doing things his way - and he’ll be more likely to respond to your efforts when you start talking (and acting) in his language.